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Thread: Serious ???

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Buford Ga
    Posts
    2,731

    Default Serious ???

    What do you tell a friend ,when he says he is dying of cancer.He called me up a few days ago and said he was going to heaven in a couple months.The doctor says maybe 2 months at most .

    How would you handle this situtation ,and what would you say ,to him?

    we have know each other for 20 yrs .he is a young man at 48 yrs young .but he is on the west coast .
    LOve to grill and eat .
    The balck oval primos x tr lrg
    Steve

    4% of something that tastes like nothing is probably not needed.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Texas Hill country
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    3,030

    Default

    Get on a plane Now!!!! Go!!! Give him a good week or you may regret it later on. Let him know you will be there for his family,just be a good friend . Some times the actions we take carry an unspoken message that speaks volumes.
    Be kind to me, it's not my fault I'm a "PORK-A-HOLIC"!!
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Buford Ga
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BluDawg View Post
    Get on a plane Now!!!! Go!!! Give him a good week or you may regret it later on. Let him know you will be there for his family,just be a good friend . Some times the actions we take carry an unspoken message that speaks volumes.

    id probally drive out better for me ,stop and see a few folk on the way out .wifes says ishould go to .i do need a break the south for a few days .
    LOve to grill and eat .
    The balck oval primos x tr lrg
    Steve

    4% of something that tastes like nothing is probably not needed.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Tulsa
    Posts
    4,976

    Default

    You should definitely go.

    Now, that being said, I saw a piece on the news tonight. there is a new drug that attacks tumor cells and tumor cells only. they said that 905 of patients will respond favorably and do so within days. I heard a snippet on the news about a similar drug for malignant melanoma a week or two ago. You might be able to do some research and find some life saving info for him.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Acampo California (Lodi area)
    Posts
    1,078

    Default

    Tell him whatever is in your heart. I am not sure how close you are to him or it would not even be a question right?

    What is your relationship normally like? If he is someone you usually give a warm shoulder to lean on, do that. If he is someone you normally joke around with, do that. Do whatever you normally do but with purpose and intensity.

    If you normally talk on the phone once a year, then do that but more often. The worst thing to do is nothing.
    I am in shape. Round is a shape.
    I LOVE vegetarians! They come in Chicken, Pork, and Beef flavors!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Tulsa
    Posts
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    Default

    OBcity made a very good point. People that are dying generally like for everything to be as normal as possible. I suppose it is scary enough to know tat yo are going to die. If everything else around has a semblance of normalcy it would be comforting.

    Me, I just hope that when my time comes I never see it coming.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Shreveport Louisiana
    Posts
    590

    Default

    Not sure you would want to tell this to your Friend or not but from my own experience, I've seen folks live into their 80's and become diaper wearing drooling idiots with no clue as to where they are going or where they've been. I've also seen children and young folks at every age pass.

    48 is not alot of time but I would rather have about 50 good ones than an extra 10-20-30 bad ones. I speak from close relatives passing from cancer at young ages and watching old folks loose it while trying to maintain their dignity. There are alot of points inbetween in this life.

    In the immortal words of Neil Young: "It's Better To Burn Out Than To Fade Away".

    Sorry for you, your Family and your Friend and his
    Family.

    Godspeed to him. Just my .02
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  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    w.KS
    Posts
    3,158

    Default

    You know what to do for him, Steve.

    What can we do for you? Want to vent or share some stories, we are all ears.

    Take care

    Mistakes - It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Carthage, MO
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    10,055

    Default

    About all I can say is .. be the friend that you are. If you have the time and have been meaning to see him some time ... now is the time. If he is just a phone friend with great memories ... maybe all he needs is just to hear your voice. You do what YOU know to be right ... everything else will come to level.
    Plank Owner ..................
    I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian!



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Pattison, TX
    Posts
    6,964

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by O B City View Post
    Tell him whatever is in your heart. I am not sure how close you are to him or it would not even be a question right?

    What is your relationship normally like? If he is someone you usually give a warm shoulder to lean on, do that. If he is someone you normally joke around with, do that. Do whatever you normally do but with purpose and intensity.

    If you normally talk on the phone once a year, then do that but more often. The worst thing to do is nothing.
    Quote Originally Posted by SmokyOkie View Post
    OBcity made a very good point. People that are dying generally like for everything to be as normal as possible. I suppose it is scary enough to know tat yo are going to die. If everything else around has a semblance of normalcy it would be comforting.

    Me, I just hope that when my time comes I never see it coming.
    What they said. Engage as you normally would. He probly doesn't want to be treated differently. My experience with dying folks is that they don't want you to freak out or make a big fuss. They want contact though. Do what you can in person or by phone.

    My
    "Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken."
    Tom, smoker of meats and fine cigars
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