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Primo
08-30-2011, 04:16 PM
What do you tell a friend ,when he says he is dying of cancer.He called me up a few days ago and said he was going to heaven in a couple months.The doctor says maybe 2 months at most .

How would you handle this situtation ,and what would you say ,to him?

we have know each other for 20 yrs .he is a young man at 48 yrs young .but he is on the west coast .

BluDawg
08-30-2011, 04:23 PM
Get on a plane Now!!!! Go!!! Give him a good week or you may regret it later on. Let him know you will be there for his family,just be a good friend . Some times the actions we take carry an unspoken message that speaks volumes.

Primo
08-30-2011, 04:29 PM
Get on a plane Now!!!! Go!!! Give him a good week or you may regret it later on. Let him know you will be there for his family,just be a good friend . Some times the actions we take carry an unspoken message that speaks volumes.


id probally drive out better for me ,stop and see a few folk on the way out .wifes says ishould go to .i do need a break the south for a few days .

SmokyOkie
08-30-2011, 06:39 PM
You should definitely go.

Now, that being said, I saw a piece on the news tonight. there is a new drug that attacks tumor cells and tumor cells only. they said that 905 of patients will respond favorably and do so within days. I heard a snippet on the news about a similar drug for malignant melanoma a week or two ago. You might be able to do some research and find some life saving info for him.

O B City
08-30-2011, 07:30 PM
Tell him whatever is in your heart. I am not sure how close you are to him or it would not even be a question right?

What is your relationship normally like? If he is someone you usually give a warm shoulder to lean on, do that. If he is someone you normally joke around with, do that. Do whatever you normally do but with purpose and intensity.

If you normally talk on the phone once a year, then do that but more often. The worst thing to do is nothing.

SmokyOkie
08-30-2011, 08:39 PM
OBcity made a very good point. People that are dying generally like for everything to be as normal as possible. I suppose it is scary enough to know tat yo are going to die. If everything else around has a semblance of normalcy it would be comforting.

Me, I just hope that when my time comes I never see it coming.

Toast
08-30-2011, 08:43 PM
Not sure you would want to tell this to your Friend or not but from my own experience, I've seen folks live into their 80's and become diaper wearing drooling idiots with no clue as to where they are going or where they've been. I've also seen children and young folks at every age pass.

48 is not alot of time but I would rather have about 50 good ones than an extra 10-20-30 bad ones. I speak from close relatives passing from cancer at young ages and watching old folks loose it while trying to maintain their dignity. There are alot of points inbetween in this life.

In the immortal words of Neil Young: "It's Better To Burn Out Than To Fade Away".

Sorry for you, your Family and your Friend and his
Family.

Godspeed to him. Just my .02

BigAL
08-31-2011, 05:15 AM
You know what to do for him, Steve.

What can we do for you? Want to vent or share some stories, we are all ears.

Take care

PigCicles
09-01-2011, 04:37 AM
About all I can say is .. be the friend that you are. If you have the time and have been meaning to see him some time ... now is the time. If he is just a phone friend with great memories ... maybe all he needs is just to hear your voice. You do what YOU know to be right ... everything else will come to level.

tomshoots
09-01-2011, 08:00 PM
Tell him whatever is in your heart. I am not sure how close you are to him or it would not even be a question right?

What is your relationship normally like? If he is someone you usually give a warm shoulder to lean on, do that. If he is someone you normally joke around with, do that. Do whatever you normally do but with purpose and intensity.

If you normally talk on the phone once a year, then do that but more often. The worst thing to do is nothing.


OBcity made a very good point. People that are dying generally like for everything to be as normal as possible. I suppose it is scary enough to know tat yo are going to die. If everything else around has a semblance of normalcy it would be comforting.

Me, I just hope that when my time comes I never see it coming.

What they said. Engage as you normally would. He probly doesn't want to be treated differently. My experience with dying folks is that they don't want you to freak out or make a big fuss. They want contact though. Do what you can in person or by phone.

My:twocents:

Capt Dan
09-02-2011, 06:41 AM
Go and see him.It will be good for both of you, and his family will appreciate it too.:msn-wink:


Laugh, cry, and pray together. Help him not be afraid.

Got Cancer at 48 myself. But with the hand of God, a great support group, and good clean medicine, I was fortunate to beat my cancer.

May God Bless him and his family, and help them cope with his loss.

bbqbull
09-04-2011, 09:58 AM
I agree with everybody elses advice above me.

Prayers sent for everybody involved.

chef schwantz
09-04-2011, 10:58 PM
Hearing news like that from anybody, much less a friend is never easy. But it sounds as though your friend has come to terms with his illness, and is at peace with the outcome. Go see him now, while he is still able to enjoy your company, and time together. The longer you wait, the less you will be able to do together. You won't regret it, and I'm guessing he would rather you remember him as still being somewhat ambulatory, rather than being in a hospice setting.:shrug::twocents: